when i got lost, i remained so.

Oh i just had such a cool topic to write on. And I have lost it now. It was something to do with the way we were raised. Or at least the way I raised my self cause I am pretty sure my parents never installed in me the things that I believed for the longest time to be true and deserving of me. What was it? I was thinking about.. yes! i was thinking about Lucky and I just saw his profile on Skype and how at one point of time I actually told Ruchi di, after her marriage, that I find it weird that his and my name is coming up in conversations together. Ruchi di just looked on, as in “eh, so?” But in my head, I was thinking, I hope they don’t think that he and I are gonna be matched later or that there is some future between him and me. There was no such thought in anyone’s mind. No one was thinking like that. And honestly, no one gave me any cause to make me believe that they were thinking like that. It was just that he was close to his cousin and I was close (in a way) to mine and both our cousins were married to each other. What added fuel to my thought process was that we both were very similar in our way of being, of conduct. Talkative, jovial, funny, witty, cracking up on every situation, making fun at every instance, laughing at ourselves. And that was it. And on the basis of this, I presumed, contrary to anything else and not promised at all by anyone else, that people are presuming that we both will be matched up and i want to wash my hands free of that already so i should clarify. And in all honestly, the act of me washing my hands free was only to attract the attention of people towards the possibility of him and me, because no one else was on the same footing as i was. And as I was saying, no one taught me to think like that lovesick fool person who sees double meaning when not even a single existed. And that's the case with me though. I don’t ever see a spade for a spade. For all my talk, I will always see more than a spade. I can call myself an optimist, but honestly, I am being foolish and naive and unrealistic and just too severe and over-expecting of fate. 

The path is rosy

or so i want to believe.

It is just a path,

it promises no rose no daffodils no water.

It offers a road and a way.

It has no directions,

it has no destinations.

But you (i) do have free will,

i do have choices.

It offers me the option to take what i want.

It does not deter,

it is free and open,

all i need is to take a path.

But for me to expect the path to decide

is above its pay grade and its choice.

All it does is it exist for you,

its up to me now to take or to get lost.

Either way, the path will exist,

keep on so for eternity and beyond.

So all that i can hope for from it

is an existence and nothing more.

For everything else,

i need to walk or stop or pick

a path.