eh, what?

The mind is a mysterious place. It goes on and on, believing the suppositions like they are real and completely forgetting the reality which is blatant in its existence. No matter how much I try to distance it from illusions and suppositions, it goes back to them, sticks to them and does not let go of its hold. There is another debate on whether its mind or brain but that’s not the purpose of this writing. This is not what I am doing. Going on and on in circles of ecstatic relief to downright dumps of feelings, of self-belief and self-doubt, of what is and what isn’t. 

I saw a sea in my dream today, with big orange coloured fish, the size of a small whale or shark, but the shape of a gold fish. And I was fascinated. I have always been fascinated with whales, especially because of their humongous size and my belief that they are harmless creatures. I think that might have been why I saw the fish (can I call it a fish if it was more like a whale, but maybe the sea does hold a fish which is orange and is of shark-like size). And I remember that I was scared also a bit. I am always scared of water bodies, especially the sea, the enormity of the vastness scares me I guess. I feel small, lost, alone. So I was scared, but also fascinated.

Blah. My mind is not coherent at all today. Its jumping from one place to another. I don’t know now where I was going on with my dream story or with the beginning of this writing. 

Just muddled is all.