being who i am

The Background

I have a client. A better looking and a fitter 55 year old man, who is the MD of a company, about which I have no idea about. But I do know his manager, one even older man, not so good looking, but still a pleasant and courteous man, who addresses me with a ‘ji’ suffixed to my name and for some strange reason always has the top two buttons of his half sleeves shirt open, which gives him a shabby/ non-formal look, rather than a cool/ sexy look. I don’t think he is aiming to be either, it's just one of my earliest observations about him. 

So, of the two, the client and the manager, I have interacted mostly with the manager and maybe met the client once or twice. The case that I handle for the client is not his, but of his close family member, lets call this person X, who also happens to be a director of the company. As per the conduct of the manger and the deference he shows to the client and X, I have come to believe that the company is a big and prosperous company.

So to speak, I know the manager, I am sort of acquainted with the client, I don’t think he will recognize me in a crowd, but he will know me if he sees he in the same place with the same setting and the sort.

The Scene

For some legal reason, the client and another of his close relative, who I are calling Y, were required to appear before the Court to have their statements recorded. Since the client was coming himself, I asked one of my seniors’ to also come for the hearing, which otherwise could have been handled by any junior of mine. 

So on the designated date, there we were, my senior, me, the client, waiting outside of the court for the manager to get Y from the parking lot to the court and also for the judge to hold the court.

The Incident

The Judge, being pompous and believing that the time of the lawyers and clients is of no consequence to his whims and fancies, decided to take the day of and so only dates were given in the matters. I, however, insist that the names of my client and of Y be recorded to the effect that they were present for their statement to be recorded. Since Y was still not there, we continue to wait for Y to come. Thanks to the Delhi traffic, which is not a living being, but an irritating being comprising of nincompoops (don’t get me started on this; also I know that it plays no role in the story, but I wanted to write nincompoops), Y finally arrived after some 20-30 minutes of delay. I meet Y for the first time, who looked older than his 58 years of age. While I go inside the court to sort the issue of Y’s presence to be recorded, Y hangs out talking with the rest of the company, i.e. my senior, the client, the manager. I then come out and request Y to come inside the court. The whole process of confirming his presence to the court master and having his name recorded takes no more than 1 minute, and it was done.

We all walk out together. For some reason, I walk out with Y on my left and the rest are in front of us. As soon as we step out, Y pats me on the shoulder and addresses the client to the effect that Y and me continue to be followers of the Opposition whereas the client continues to be the supporter of the Ruling Party and so he bears the blunt of the traffic more than us. This was jokingly said but I was taken by surprised as to why I was included in this joking jibe with the client. However, being me, I took part in the joke and said a line myself. And that was it. We said our byes to the three, and left.

The Dilemma

The point the incident stands out is the casual pat on my shoulder by someone i was meeting for the first time ever and that too for few minutes. What made me think latter was whether I should be upset with the conduct of Y to casually presume that it was all right to pat me on my shoulder, who he is meeting for the first time, and to include me in his random joke with the client; OR whether I should be flattered that this old man thought me to be his confidant, because that was the way be behaved for that 30 seconds when he had met me for only 30 seconds before that.

The Analysis

It used to be sweet of people when they would just presume that I am this kid who is doing work which is too big for her shoes and that she should be encouraged and therefore lets be more friendly/ softer with her, more informal with her. It was. But not anymore. I am much older than my 6-8 year old self. I am not as confident, but I am fairly so. And well, you don’t know me. So don’t presume that you can do this with me. It was too minuscule for me to make a scene. But I shouldn’t have had to in the first place. My personal space and my familiarity extends to the extent that I want it to. It does not mean that you or anyone has a right encroach upon it.

I know it wasn’t a big deal. But it’s a trend that I notice more vis-à-vis me as opposed to my peers, be it female or male. The only thing I can attribute this to is to my short height and small frame. However, I don’t want to get bulky just so that people will start taking me seriously. Its not the way men have to be and it shouldn’t be the way for me to be to.

The Conclusion

BAKWAAS. Also, i am tired of typing.