It is what it is.

I saw the movie Kissing Booth yesterday night. Not so much as saw the whole thing, as saw some and fast forwarded some and then saw some. Well the movies is not the best of movies, so it wasn’t like I was missing out on something. But I was disappointed at the end of the movie, and no that was not because I did not like the way the actors acted or how abrupt it was or how farji it all looked. The movie is about this girl falling for this guy who is out of bounds to her. And well, the guy falls for the girl too and he is dealing with his own issues and for those reasons, the girl is out of bounds for him too. The love/ romance, when it does happen between the two, is more special because its just between them, and of course its strong enough that it want to break those bonds of secrecy, yet still it cant and that results in tension and all the rest of the drama that is part of the whole movie. In addition to this forbidden angle, another aspect which was not portrayed directly, but was evident, was the sheer difference in the two protagonists. While one is slightly awkward, very short and petite girl, the other is a ‘Jock’, as they call it in the US, a tall, full grown boy, with broad shoulders and a mean look that says that he is up for fighting with his bare knuckles anyone who messes with her or him for that matter. The difference in their height is so much that at one point even the director said, just be on your knees for the kissing scene so that the guy does not sprain his neck and shoulders because he was bending too much!

And in that description lies my fascination. The jock falling for the awkward one. It’s the time old story, it has been told and repeated in so many movies. But maybe I saw a movie of this kind after a long time, and so when I saw this handsome hunk falling for this cute, but not hot, girl, I instantly placed myself in place of the girl. And all of those childish dreams, that I used to cook up and tell and re-dream and re-imagine, came to life. Well the memory of it did. And it dawned on me, after so many years of my life, of heartbreaks and relationships, that I wanted something like that. Not a jock, per se, but I did want someone to take care of me when I dint know about it. And then to get to know it later and be all ‘oh my gawd, you did that for me’ and be all over him like i owned him or something.

Life dint plan out like that, the first guy was a bully to me and wanted to change me, the second one just dint care enough for me to be that protective of me, the third, well there was no one after that actually, was there? And in the meantime, I, who was left to fend for myself, just hardened up and started taking care of myself. I am independent to some extent now. Yay. But I forgot what I wanted somewhere, and this movie reminded me of it.

I know its such a cliché, to be protected, to fall for the jock and to expect him to fall for me. But well, it was what it was. And it is what it is. So there I was, suddenly reminded of my memory and yearning for it again. Although I did try to re-imagine my dreams that I used to cook up so long back, but nothing else came to mind. It does not fit with my reality anymore. Still.

And now as to why I was disappointed with the movie's end, it was because the couple part ways, which is logical as far as the movie goes. The kids are not even out of school. Something that early on, can only have a future of ‘might or might not’, and not of ‘for sure’. Life is going to be so much more than just one relationship or one set of attractions. Who better to know it than me. Yet, I wanted it for them. The kids in the movie represented the dreams that I had dreamed long ago, and although they dint come to fruition, I definitely wanted the movie kids to have it.

Oh well, in my movie-dream-reality version also, it wasn’t happily ever after as I wanted it to be. Yup, my life is that mean at times!